Many of us will have heard of the so-called ‘triangle of trust’, often attributed to leadership thinkers Frances Frei and Anne Morriss.

Then there’s the ‘triangle of self-obsession’ that some in recovery circles talk about.

One dramatic writing aid is known as the ‘triangle of knowledge’.

It seems we’re attuned as humans to things that come in threes – see ‘the rule of three’ writing principle, for instance – and the triangle is an endlessly useful visual aid for communicating conceptual models.

The drama triangle is another example of this very human instinct to conceptualise in triangulated threes. It’s a model coined by the psychiatrist Stephen B. Karpman and it’s one I’ve found super helpful – both for understanding and illustrating some pretty common workplace (and outside of the workplace) dynamics, and for getting a handle on the state of the world today. 

If those last few words gave you an anxiety pang – understandable! – please be reassured: the drama triangle has a more positive counterpart, the yang to its yin: the empowerment triangle. Let me explain.

The drama triangle explained

In Karpman’s model, one side of the drama triangle is occupied by the Hero (or Rescuer), the second side by the Villain (or Persecutor) and the third by the Victim.

The Hero in this particular movie is not always operating from a place of selflessness. They’re motivated by the need for recognition. 

The Villain, meanwhile, might claim they’re demonstrating ‘tough love’, but really they can be acting out of a more critical energy.

The Hero and the Villain are aiming their ‘efforts’ at the third person in the triangle – the Victim. The Victim, for their part, sees the world and their own life through a gloomy lens. They can feel powerless. They acquiesce to the Hero’s attentions and soak up every last drop of the Villain’s criticism. Their life is not their own.

Both Villain and Hero, consciously or unconsciously, are really trying to escape focusing on themselves. It suits them for the Victim to stay in their helpless state.

If real-life examples of these three roles aren’t springing to mind, I invite you to wait a while – they will! Whether it’s in a dynamic being played out at work, or on the world stage, the drama triangle shows up again and again. It’s a place of entrenched positions, stagnation and being deaf to one another’s voice. We see it all around us.

Here comes hope: the empowerment triangle

Here’s what can happen, though, when all actors in the drama triangle undergo a little growth:

Hero → Coach

Villain → Challenger

Victim → Creator

The Coach stops ‘heroically’ sticking their oar in to rescue. Instead, they seek to help only if it’s genuinely in the best interests of the other party. They empower and, yes, coach.

The Challenger transforms the Villain’s criticism into measured, constructive critique. The goal of the input shifts towards authentic ‘tough love’ that’s actually loving.

If someone is struggling, my prompt here is that you listen to them, really listen, and determine if you can help. Also: allow them to not know how to move forward and accept that their not knowing does not mean you have to step in and do the knowing for them.

In this better state of affairs, the poor old woe-is-me Victim, meanwhile, shifts gears, takes responsibility for their own life and becomes the Creator. And that’s where things get really interesting.

Living your best Creator life in and outside the workplace

Being Creator is not about allocating a few windows here and there to productivity. It’s seeing your entire timeline — your time-and-space axis and everything you do along it – as an expression of and synergetic with your Creator status. 

Does this sound exhausting? Being ‘on’ 24/7? Ironically, perhaps, I’d argue it’s only tiring when we don’t commit fully to being Creator. When we drain our own resources by shifting between incompatible energetic states.

So what does committing to Creator look and feel like? The magic is that it’s fuelled by an inexhaustible source: awareness. And it’s awareness of a very specific dynamic: the interface between ‘What we care about’ and ‘What we can influence’. When our awareness is refracted through this lens, we flow as Creator. I believe we can sustain long spells in this state.

But what happens when we’re eventually knocked out of our stride? That’s when we put a different hat on. We become Coach and Challenger towards ourselves. We remind ourselves that we must take responsibility and show accountability for ourselves, our actions and what we say.

That’s because a Creator only sees Creators or potential Creators. When someone is struggling, finding themselves lapsing into Victim, Creator holds up a mirror for them, coaxes and nudges them back towards their own Creator destiny. 

The Creator might even invite the quasi-Victim to consider that whatever pickle they have found themselves in was actually – subconsciously – of their own making. That they have manufactured a challenging situation for themselves in order that they can blossom out of it, like the hero drawn irresistibly into the wildwood.

Now, how does this apply to the workplace? I’d say the two triangles – of drama and empowerment – define many of the dynamics we see play out among colleagues, stakeholders and C-suite execs

Let’s say a CEO has good reason to fire a leader – a great shame, but sometimes these things have to happen. But what if the CEO then badmouths their dismissed leader to the anyone who’ll listen? The CEO is stuck deep down in the drama triangle here, an entrenched ‘Villain’, and their behaviour will feel ‘off’ to those around them – that’s because the badmouthing, while directed at the leader, is actually revealing more about the CEO’s equilibrium.

Another way this scenario might play out: the CEO recognises their leader isn’t performing, but rather than having some honest, helpful, empathetic conversations

taking on the Challenger and Coach role – they keep jumping in and covering their leader’s shortcomings by ‘helping out’ and ‘lending a hand’. The business suffers, the leader doesn’t grow – they might desperately desire coaching, or they might be resting dangerously on their laurels – but guess what? The CEO gets to feel like the ‘Hero’, as described above. By feeding the CEO’s desire to ‘fix’, their leader’s weaknesses suit the CEO at a deep psychological level. Reaching the triangle of empowerment from this point will take committed, honest work by both parties.

I hope that has been helpful. To end, here’s another neat ‘three’ I’d like to leave you with: I am Creator; you are Creator; we are all Creators.