When Alex walked into my office and said she was overwhelmed, I thought: OK, she needs my help. She needs answers. I listened, asked a few clarifying questions, and then did what I’ve been trained to do—fix it. I grabbed a pen, broke the problem into parts, and offered strategies: delegating more, calendar blocking, prioritization. I could see she was struggling, and I wanted to be useful.

But something in her eyes changed as I spoke—like she was drifting further away, not closer. I thought I was being helpful, but she left the conversation looking more burdened than when she walked in. It didn’t occur to me until later that what she needed wasn’t my strategy—it was my presence. She needed to feel felt, not fixed. Read this HBR article to find out more.